Holland is a strange place: Spyker Aileron

There are very few things, or people, in the world that are weird and serious at the same time. Professional and completely bonkers. Among these things you can find Holland and the Dutch.

This happens because there are two types of Holland and the Dutch have always been able to make the two co-exist. You've got one side of Holland, where everyone goes on caravan holidays and there are tulips, and another side, where people drink, smoke and have sex behind a window with a call girl. There are other examples of this schizophrenia.

Rembrandt, for instance, he was Dutch and all he ever painted were businessmen in dark rooms doing accountancy, but then Van Gogh was also Dutch, and he went to South of France and cut his ear off.

So now I want to talk about another perfect example of this ambiguous personality of the people living in Nederlands. It's called the Spyker C8 Aileron, and it's the last creation to come out of the car company Spyker.
Spyker Cars is a company founded in Zeewolde by two Dutch businessmen, and, apart from having a very catchy name and a very charismatic motto: "Nulla tenaci invia est via", which is Latin for "For the tenacious, no road is impassable", it makes cars.
Very good cars, I reckon.


The C8, the first model ever to go into production in 2000 and still on sale, is the one I want to talk about.
The "Oranje" talent for the picturesque and beauty, although not in a canonic way, is undeniable. The C8 Aileron, even though it has two doors that open like scissors (Lambo style), an interior, a boot, and a bonnet with a 4,2 liter 400 hp Audi engine, it's not a car.

It's a work of art.

My suggestion, if you have about 400.000 euros, is to get two Ailerons. One to drive, and the other one to put into a wooden frame and keep in your bedroom wall, just beside a reproduction of the Mona Lisa, and an alabaster reproduction of the David by Michelangelo.
Undoubtedly, the interiors are the most astonishing feature, theatrical and elegant, and with a few more luxuries than you could find in the old car.
The old C8 La Violette wasn't particularly well equipped, good looking indeed, but it had no bluetooth system, no sat nav, no airbag and even though it did have an air conditioning, there appeared to be no vent to spread the fresh air.
On this new model, the Aileron, there are vents from which cool air will come and a steering wheel with an airbag in it.
That's luxurious.


At this time and point I would like to talk about the feeling of the thing, the handling, but I'm afraid I can't. For a very simple reason: I haven't driven it.
Normally I don't talk about cars that I've not driven. But for cars like this one, I've got to make an exception.
Because, aside from the nose, which kind of reminds me of a fish, this is not an ordinary car.
It's not a car driven by playboys, looking for the lap time. It's car you wear, rather than drive.

So, even if it can't stand up against a Lambo, a Porsche or a Ferrari on the track. It can rival anything parked outside your favourite restaurant in your Tax Haven.
Picture the scene, you arrive in Monte-Carlo and while everyone is bragging about their F430's and Bentleys, you pull up, get out of the car in your black tuxedo and hand the keys over the valet guy.
Rest assured, everyone will be looking at you. At that point you'll be able to draw a grimace on your face and answer the inevitable question.

"What is that?"
"It's my Spyker Aileron."

Dodge Viper SRT10 Top Gear Road Test and Review

We've got unfinished business. In the meantime, my last greeting before its retirement. Dodge Viper

Just look at it.
No, don't say anything. Just look at it.

No, it isn't a Ferrari.

Look at that gigantic bonnet, it is so wide that the lights and the windshield are in two different time zones.
Loot at the 18 (front) and 19 (rear) inches chrome alloy wheels.

Now look down those two salami shaped tubes. That's the exhaust.

No it isn't a Lamborghini. It's a Dodge Viper Srt-10.

The most amazing car ever built.

In 1989 a couple of chaps from Dodge in America came up with an idea.

They began working in a shed, at that time Dodge was short on cash so they made their best, with whatever they could get.

They took the engine from a truck, and threw it under 4,44 metres for 1,6 tons of car.

This car was born quite by accident, and became an icon.

The first version went into production in 1992, it had a 8 l V10 with 400 hp.

The Dodge Viper is special.
It's not an avantgarde car. It can't keep pace with her European rivals. And it seems to know that. It's a bit like Steven Seagal, he knows he's not a great actor and never said he was. He doesn't pretend, he simply does what he loves and does best. Better than anyone else. Breaking baddies' necks.
This car does the same.

If you put your foot down during a rainy day chances are you'll be facing the way you came.
It doesn't accelerate forwards, it accelerates vertically. Towards the centre of the Earth.

Some lunatic might compare it to a Ferrari.

Comparing a Viper to a Ferrari is like comparing David Beckham to Franck Ribéry, technically they are colleagues, but in reality they've got nothing in common, and you can't compare them. Every product to come out of the company based in Maranello it's the result of the same creed: efficiency, performances, technology, exclusivity.
There is nothing efficient or technological about the Viper.

The engine from the latest model (2008) it's an 8.4 litre v10 which develops 600 hp. An engineer from Ferrari could get that much power from a vacuum cleaner. There is no diabolical electronic gadget to put the power down and make you go straight. Consequently, even though the figures show that the Viper is pretty much in the same league as other supercars (0-100 in less than 4 seconds and a top speed of over 200 mph), in reality, a Ferrari or a Porsche would probably eat it alive around a track.
The Dodge is too heavy, too unbalanced, with no aid or traction control or whatsoever, and a monstrous torque to handle.

Having said that, driving it on a track means spending the majority of time sideways, with the big heavy nose pointing ahead and the rear end wandering about, and anyone with a little bit of knowledge will tell you that power sliding and tail swinging is good for the show, not for lap times.

But that's not the point.

This is not why you want, love and buy a Viper.

Buying a Viper for its handling it's like buying a porn film for its plot.

By the end of August, 2010 the production of this car will cease. It's not known yet whether Dodge will resume it, but now Chrysler and Dodge are under Fiat control and rumour has it that the new Viper will be out with a Ferrari engine.

God, I hope not.

The result would be a pathetic compromise between an American muscle car and an Italian supercar, no one would like it or buy it.

The only certainty we have is that the Viper won't be here next year and in order to give it a proper goodbye, Dodge will make the "farewell" Final Edition Viper. Only 50 of these units will be produced: 20 coupes, 18 roadsters and 12 ACRs.

It'll never be as fast as a Veyron.

It'll never be as excellent as a Ferrari.

It'll never handle like a Lamborghini.

But the Viper is something else.

It's a proper supercar.

There's no gadget, no compromise, no kindness.

There is only a very good looking and powerful car.

It is what every supercar should be, crazy, ready to explode every time you turn it on.
Cars that dry rivers out and burn asphalt.

It is politically incorrect, whoever designed it, isn't even half aware of global warming. The Viper couldn't care less about how much CO2 it spits out. It doesn't know words such as emissions and hybrid.

In 2009 in Las Vegas, I could've driven it. But I haven't. Don't know why, but I haven't.

I will, sooner or later, drive it, but this is my only regret so far.

Lotus Elise 111R, the best handling car in the world.